A few ideas for when the news is too normal.

Politics

RFK Jr. Urges FDA To Replace Ozempic With Natural Weight Loss Alternatives, Like “Existential Dread” And “Garden Variety Depression”

Politics

“I’m Rubber, You’re Glue; Whatever You Say Bounces Off Of Me And Sticks To You,” Cites Alito In Official Ethics Ruling

Local

“Worst Design Since PT Cruiser,” Says Sensitive Cybertruck When Asked To Comment On New Electric USPS Vehicle

Politics

Trying To Find Silver Lining, Matt Gaetz Googles “How To Set Cameo Age Preferences To Lowest Range”